High-Functioning Brokenness: Why Naaman Would’ve Loved Celebrate Recovery

2 Kings 5:1 “Naaman was commander of the army of the king of Aram. He was a great man in the sight of his master and highly regarded, because through him the Lord had given victory to Aram. He was a valiant soldier, but he had leprosy.”

Naaman was basically ancient Israel’s Chuck Norris. The man was undefeated, respected, decorated… and diseased. You could almost hear the dramatic music: “He was strong, successful, admired… BUT he had leprosy.”

That’s the Bible’s way of saying: “This guy looked amazing on Instagram, but don’t swipe too far—you’ll find the mess.”

High-Functioning Brokenness = Us in Recovery Pre-Recovery

Naaman had high-functioning brokenness—he could still win battles, but he couldn’t win the one under his armor. He looked unstoppable, but the skin beneath told a different story.

Sound familiar? Some of us had high-functioning depression, high-functioning alcoholism, high-functioning anxiety. We were basically the Wal-Mart version of wholeness: it looked fine from a distance, but up close? Oof. Cracks, duct tape, and clearance-rack quality.

Our slogans could’ve been:

• “Holding it together with duct tape since 1997.”

• “Smiling at church, crying in the car.”

• “Boss at work, hot mess at home.”

Naaman Wants Fancy, God Gives Mud

So Naaman finally goes to Elisha, expecting a healing ceremony—maybe a red carpet, a prophet doing jazz hands, a choir humming in the background. Instead, Elisha doesn’t even come to the door. He just sends a servant with instructions: “Go dip in the Jordan River seven times.”

That’s like being told: “Yes, commander of armies, please go bathe in a swamp. Several times. Thank you, management.”

Naaman was insulted. He wanted spa water and eucalyptus towels, not mud baths. But God wasn’t after his pride; He was after his healing.

Same with us. CR steps don’t look glamorous either:

• Writing a moral inventory = basically skinny-dipping your soul.

• Making amends = introducing yourself with a name tag that says, “Hi, I was wrong.”

• Sharing in group = public spiritual karaoke without auto-tune.

Awkward? Absolutely. Necessary? You bet.

Recovery Is Awkward Before It’s Awesome

Naaman had to dip before he was healed. We do too. Not once, not twice, but seven times. Step by step. Dip by dip. Inventory, amends, surrender. Every plunge strips away a little more pride, a little more armor, until healing comes.

Naaman came up with skin like a child’s. And when we wade into recovery—mud, awkwardness, and all—God makes us new.

✨ Reflection Question:

Where are you showing up strong but secretly falling apart? Which “muddy river” step in recovery is God asking you to take?

🙏 Prayer:

Lord, thank You for not giving me the fancy healing I wanted but the muddy obedience I needed. Help me stop pretending duct tape is wholeness. Give me the guts to dip again and again, even when I feel ridiculous. And Lord—if I’m coming up seven times, at least let me not smell like river water when it’s over. Amen.

If Only Life Had a “Schedule Post” Button

One of the best parts of blogging (or even Facebook) is that you can schedule posts. You can type it up at 2 a.m. when you’re eating cereal straight from the box, but it won’t show up until tomorrow at 9 a.m. when you look like a responsible adult.

If only recovery worked that way. Imagine: “God, could You schedule my healing for next Tuesday around 4:30, right between small group and Taco Tuesday?” Or, “Lord, please publish my breakthrough immediately after my morning coffee, because I’ll actually be awake by then.”

But spoiler alert: God doesn’t take scheduling requests. His calendar is mysteriously hidden, and for some reason, He does not consult me on it. (Rude, honestly.)

God’s Timing > My Calendar

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

Translation: there’s a time for relapse and a time for recovery. A time for ugly-cry prayers and a time for belly-laugh testimonies. A time to give up your control… and another time to give it up again five minutes later because you just grabbed it back.

Recovery is not a one-click publish. It’s more like God saving us in “draft mode” while He works behind the scenes.

The Recovery Drafts Folder

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a lot of “unpublished drafts” in my life:

• That amends I still haven’t made.

• That bad habit I thought was gone but somehow re-downloaded itself.

• That prayer request that’s been sitting in God’s inbox for, oh, five years now.

And yet—God doesn’t hit delete. Philippians 1:6 says: “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

If He started it, He’ll finish it. He’s just editing the draft, fixing the typos, and making sure the story doesn’t flop before hitting “Publish.”

Prayer

Father, thank You for not tossing me in the spam folder when I get it wrong. Thank You that You’re still editing my drafts, still shaping my story, and still showing up even when I want everything to go live on my schedule. Lord, give me patience when I’m demanding instant results, and trust when I feel like You’ve left me in “draft mode” too long. Remind me that Your timing is better than mine, and Your plan is always worth the wait. In Jesus’ name, amen.

More Deep Thoughts with Dawn

My RSVP to Yet Another Pity Party (and Why Nobody Showed Up)

Some mornings I don’t just wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I wake up on the wrong side of faith. That’s when I throw myself a pity party—balloons, sad confetti, and the world’s worst playlist. And guess what? Nobody shows up. Turns out self-pity is the loneliest kind of rager.

Celebrate Recovery Step Four says: “We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” If I applied that to my pity parties, I’d have a whole notebook titled “The Events Nobody Attended.” Entry #47: “Tuesday, cried over my own Instagram feed.” Entry #86: “Thursday, compared myself to everyone else in my small group and declared myself the loser.” Spoiler alert: I’ve been the only one on the guest list every single time.

And here’s the thing—on pity party days, I cannot wear my Celebrate Recovery shirt. Nope. Because the second you put that shirt on, it screams: “I’m on the road to recovery, I’m following the steps, my testimony is thriving, and I’ve got victory on speed dial.” Meanwhile, I’m sulking in aisle three over the price of cereal. Wearing your CR shirt to a pity party is like wearing a marathon T-shirt through the Taco Bell drive-thru—it just doesn’t match the vibe.

My sponsor recently hit me with some wisdom too. I was spiraling about a situation that hadn’t even happened yet, rehearsing the loss before it was real. She looked at me and said: “Don’t grieve something you haven’t lost yet.” Ouch. Conviction served straight up, no chaser. But she’s right—why am I mourning something God hasn’t even taken away? It’s like sending flowers to a funeral that isn’t scheduled.

And let’s talk about the Israelites. I used to make fun of them. “Seriously, you whined about manna? God was literally raining down carbs from heaven!” And yet, here I am—modern-day Israelite, wandering in circles, complaining about my Starbucks order, while God is still faithfully providing. Apparently, I inherited their grumbling gene.

Then there’s David. Oh, I’ve rolled my eyes at his mess. Bathsheba? Really, dude? Numbering the people when God said not to? Running hot and cold like a broken thermostat? But if I’m honest, I’m not that different. My pity parties look a lot like David’s psalms—the sad ones. At least he had the guts to write his feelings down instead of sulking on the couch with stale Doritos.

And can we be real? Sometimes in my pity party, I feel like the red-headed stepchild of the Kingdom. Like everyone else is God’s favorite and I’m over here hoping He remembers my name. But then Romans 8:16 taps me on the shoulder: “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”

No caveats. No fine print that says “except the sulky ones” or “except the ones who’ve thrown 97 pity parties this year.” Just straight-up children of God.

Psalm 42:5 hits me hard too: “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him.”

Translation? “Stop RSVPing to that pity party and remember who the real Host is.”

Here’s the truth: pity parties are exhausting. Praise parties are restoring. One leaves me empty; the other fills me with hope. God’s in the business of taking our “woe is me” playlist and swapping it for a “God’s got this” anthem.

Prayer: Lord, forgive me for mocking the Israelites while camping out in my own desert of complaints. Forgive me for judging David while starring in my own messy psalm. Thank You for loving me even when I feel like the red-headed stepchild in Your Kingdom. Teach me to quit grieving things I haven’t lost, trade my pity parties for praise parties, and remember that no matter how many wrong turns I take, You never revoke my RSVP to Your table. Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Dawn

When Recovery Feels Like a Desert and You’re Sunburnt, Tired, and Out of Snacks

Let’s be honest: some days in recovery feel less like “walking in freedom” and more like dragging yourself through a spiritual wasteland with sand in your shoes and zero Gatorade. You’re praying, you’re doing your inventory, you’re showing up at group—and all you hear is silence.

It’s that moment where you think, Cool. I gave up my old coping habits for this? At least back then I had a drive-thru.

But here’s the truth: the desert isn’t punishment—it’s preparation. And God is still moving in your mess, even when it feels dryer than your sponsor’s sense of humor.

God Has a Track Record in Wastelands

Deuteronomy 8:15–16 puts it like this: “He led you through the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land… He brought you water out of a hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness… to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you.”

Let’s break that down:

• God didn’t just dump His people in the desert and say, “Good luck, don’t die.”

• He gave them rock-water. Bread-from-the-sky. Basically, daily DoorDash from Heaven.

If He can feed a million grumbling Israelites who complained more than we do on inventory night, He can show up for us in recovery—even when it feels like nothing’s happening.

Dry Doesn’t Mean Done

Recovery deserts are brutal. You sit in group, listen to somebody share their victory, and think, Awesome. Glad you’re out of the pit. Meanwhile, I’m over here still faceplanting in mine.

But that’s the lie of the desert: it convinces you that silence = absence. Nope. God hasn’t ghosted you. He’s just working on the night shift, setting things up where you can’t see it yet.

Romans 8:28 says: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…”

That’s ALL things—your relapse, your resentment list, your awkward confession in small group, and even the nights you eat ice cream straight from the carton and call it “self-care.”

The Real Desert Lesson

The desert isn’t where God abandons us—it’s where He retrains us. Out there, stripped of all the fake comforts and quick fixes, we finally get honest. No more numbing. No more pretending. Just us, raw, thirsty, and needing Living Water more than ever.

And that’s where recovery actually works. Not in the highlight reels, not in the “look how together I am” posts—but in the wilderness, where God proves He’s enough.

A Dry Prayer

Father, I’m tired of pretending I’ve got this together. Sometimes recovery feels empty, dry, and harder than I ever imagined. But I believe You haven’t abandoned me in the desert. You’re still providing, even when I don’t notice it. You’re still working in the background, even when I feel stuck. Give me strength to keep showing up. Give me humility to let go of my old ways. And give me hope to believe that You are turning this desert into a place of healing. Lord, I trust that one day I’ll look back and see how even here—especially here—you were faithful. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Droughtastic Dawn

Spiritual Updates vs iOS Updates

Apple just released a new iOS update. And listen—I’m not rushing to install it. I’ve seen too many TikToks of people crying because their phone now thinks their mom is “Spam Risk” or their alarm clock got replaced with a Taylor Swift song at full blast. No, thank you.

Meanwhile, my phone is over here screaming with that little red bubble like, “Hey, you’re running iOS 18 while everyone else is living their best life on iOS 26. Get it together.”

And honestly… that’s exactly how God works in my recovery.

He’s like:

• “You’re still running on Fear 1.0, and I’ve got Peace 5.0 waiting.”

• “Still carrying Shame Beta? I’ve got a full release version of Grace.”

• “Why are you holding onto that glitchy Unforgiveness app? It drains your battery and keeps crashing your relationships.”

But just like with iPhone updates, I hesitate. What if the new version is hard? What if I “crash”? What if I don’t know how to function without my old system—even if it’s broken?

That’s where scripture speaks louder than my fear.

Isaiah 43:19 says: “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

God isn’t pushing some buggy beta test on us. His updates are tested, secure, and meant to fix the junk we keep trying to work around. In Celebrate Recovery, we call that junk “hurts, habits, and hang-ups.” Apple calls it “known issues.” Either way, they slow us down until we finally hit install.

So maybe today’s prayer is:

“God, help me stop ghosting Your notifications. I don’t want to keep running outdated versions of faith, forgiveness, or freedom. Update me with Your Spirit—full install, no skipping restart.”

Because unlike iOS updates, God’s upgrades never eat up your storage. They actually set you free.

Deep thoughts with Dawn.

Out of the Pit and Onto Solid Ground

Psalm 40:2 says: “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”

That verse? That’s my story in one sentence. Honestly, it might be yours too. Because when I showed up to Celebrate Recovery, my life wasn’t just messy—it was pit-level messy. And not even a neat, Instagram-aesthetic pit. No, this was full-on slimy pit. Think mud, mire, quicksand, regret, and maybe even a raccoon or two.

But here’s the thing: God doesn’t leave us there. He lifts us out. He doesn’t just toss us a rope and say, “Good luck climbing.” He climbs right down into the pit, grabs us, and hauls us out.

The Slimy Pit: AKA Life Before Recovery

Now, the slimy pit can look different for everybody. For some of us, it was addiction. For others, it was codependency, anger, shame, or habits we thought we’d never break.

And can we just admit? Sometimes the slimy pit felt normal. Familiar. Comfortable even. Like, “Hey, at least I know this mud pit. I’ve decorated it with throw pillows. Don’t take it away!”

But pits are not meant for living. They’re meant for escaping. And God, in His mercy, says, “I’ve got better for you than mud and mire.”

Solid Ground Feels… Awkward

When God pulls us out, the verse says He sets our feet on a rock—on solid ground. That sounds amazing, right? Until you realize when you’ve lived your whole life sinking in mud, standing on something steady feels weird.

It’s like when toddlers first learn to walk. They wobble, they trip, they grab onto things that can’t actually hold them up. That’s what recovery felt like for me at first—awkward, clumsy, and very much not Instagram-worthy.

But here’s the miracle: God doesn’t ask us to walk perfectly. He just wants us to keep standing. Psalm 37:23–24 says:“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand.”

In other words: you’re going to trip, but God’s got you.

From Ashes to Beauty

That’s why Isaiah 61:3 hits so hard:“He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.”

God doesn’t just pull us out of the pit and spray us off with a garden hose. He actually transforms us. He trades our ashes—the burned-out parts of our story—for beauty. He takes the very things we thought disqualified us and turns them into testimony.

Romans 8:28 says:“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.”

Even the mud. Even the pit. Even the parts we’d rather nobody knew about.

Laughing in the Mud

Now, let’s be honest. Recovery isn’t always glamorous. Sometimes it feels more like a three-point turn in a Walmart parking lot. Other times it feels like falling flat on your face, only to hear God whisper, “It’s okay, get back up, I’m holding you.”

But here’s the joy: one day, you’ll look back at the pit you thought would bury you, and you’ll laugh. You’ll laugh because God lifted you out, put you on solid ground, and somehow gave you a story worth sharing.

Closing Prayer

Lord, thank You for lifting us out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. Thank You for setting our feet on solid ground, even when we wobble and stumble. Remind us that You’re not done with us, and that You’re turning our ashes into beauty, our chaos into peace, and our story into testimony. Amen.

Holiday Relapse Prevention Plan

Do you have a HOLIDAY RELAPSE PREVENTION PLAN?

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Daily Review: Remembering to take one day at a time during the madness of the holidays may seem like an impossibility. Making a plan for each day of the holiday season will help you get through the day and avoid triggering a relapse. Stay organized and reduce stress by keeping a calendar and a to-do list. Journaling will also help you with this. As long as you are preparing in advance what it is you may need for the day. Keep recovery at the front of your mind.

"If you don’t keep your guard up, you can easily fall back into your old self-defeating patterns. This is called relapse. The alcoholic starts drinking again. The overeater regains the weight. The gambler returns to the casino. The workaholic fills up his schedule again. We all tend to repeat the patterns of our past. It’s easy to slip back into old hurts, old hang-ups, and old habits.” (Life's Healing Choices) John Baker

2. Pick up the phone: Having a strong support team is a very important part of recovery. Call your accountability partners and/or sponsor regularly. Notice what your struggle is, name it, honor it, and then invite God and your team into your struggle and pain. Process it together and then devise a plan of action to help move forward healthily. Do not try to do this alone.

3. Meditate and/or memorize bible verses. Allow Gods word to penetrate your mind and heart. What are the promises of God that you need to remind yourself of today?

4. Attend your meetings during the week. We can’t work recovery alone. Don’t listen to the voice that says, “You don’t need to attend a meeting tonight.” Remember, if we wait until we “feel” like going, it will never happen. We all need to be in community so we don’t isolate ourselves.

5. Gratitude List: Write down at least one thing you are grateful for each day. “My heart is still beating.” “I had food to eat today.” “I have forever family to see at CR.” “I am not alone, ever.” Give God thanks for what you discover.

These are suggestions and maybe a jumping off point to assist in developing a plan. The important thing is to have a proactive plan to help us through the Holidays.

Dawn

Forgiveness

I think we can all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.  In order to be completely free from our resentments, anger, fears, shame and guilt, we need to give and accept forgiveness.  

My daughter shared with me a recent experience where she made a bad decision and broke trust with one of her teachers. Although I was curious about this “bad decision” I wasn’t overly concerned because my daughter has a long history of making good decisions. None the less, it was the perfect time to teach her how to make a proper and healthy amends. We talked about the ripple effect of our decisions. Like trowing a rock in a pond and watching the ripples our decisions, good or bad, have a ripple effect. How many people did this decision effect? What damage has it caused? We discussed taking ownership of our actions and specifically admitting our wrongs followed by a sincere apology and accepting the consequences. I concluded our lesson by further explaining, “with time and consistent behavior you can gain your teacher’s trust once again.”

After our lesson, she expressed her fear in delivering her amends and facing her instructor, “Dad, she is going to be so angry with me!” My response was letting her know that anger is an emotion that helps us process through the hurt. Her teacher needs to feel and express her anger (in a healthy way) in order to release her hurt of broken trust and come to a place of forgiveness. If she holds onto that anger then she will remain in it therefor blocking her ability to forgive. However, my daughter has no control over her teacher nor her reaction. The only thing my daughter can control is her own thoughts, feelings and actions. Taking the proper actions and making amends will help my daughter forgive herself for making that bad decision. “God, grant me there serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and thew wisdom to know the difference…”

In the movie, “The Shack”, Mack came face to face with the challenge of “Forgiveness.” He was challenged to forgive the person that caused him the most harm in his life. Mack wrestled with this unimaginable thought before coming to the realization that he didn’t know how. Often times we want forgiveness to be like a light switch; turn it on and off. Instead, forgiveness is a process. We have to take the proper steps that lead us to a place of forgiveness. Even then it can still be difficult and we have to intentionally remind ourselves over and over through a soft and gently voice, “I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you….”

Thanks for letting me share. And keep coming back…it keeps getting better!

-Marc

Dependence

Recently I read a devotional (Sarah Young's "Jesus Calling") that really caused me to stop and think. In that first paragraph it read "People usually associate victory with success: not falling or stumbling, not making mistakes. But those who are successful in their own strength tend to go their own way, forgetting about Me. It is through problems and failure, weakness and neediness that you learn to rely on Me." Then this statement was next: "True dependence is not simply asking me to bless what you have decided to do." OUCH. How many times do I do that?

I would venture to say that I do that daily. You know God I am going to do such and such would you please bless that. Then I am surprised when he does not. Then I feel like He is not with me. But it is me that is not with Him. I am trying to do things my way asking for His blessing. If I continue down that path it usually winds up not being very pretty. Would I not do better asking for Him to show me what to do? Of course, just like Moses, when He shows me something to do I want to start making excuses, I am not really suited to do, fill in the blank. For me that looks like: But God you know that I am codependent and a people pleaser and you want me to serve where? Don't you know that I am weak there? What you say You are strong when I am weak (2 Cor. 12:9-10)? Just how does that apply here? Huh? You want to help me grow? What! That will just make me worse! So, I end up trying to tell God how to do things. And we all know how well that works! NOT!

I want to do better this year. I want to rely on Him more and seek His will. Even if I am out of  my comfort zone or in a place where I need help I think He can make it work just look at Moses. Moses thought he was inadequate so God sent him help (Exodus 4:10-16). Is that not what Celebrate Recovery is about? Getting the help, accountability, to do the job God has called us to do? I have my sponsor and accountability team and they will make sure that I keep on track if I reach out when I need that help. In what area are you weak? Maybe you need to come and get help. Come Friday and start your journey to freedom from that hurt, habit or hang-up. 

Don't Cross This Line!

Recently I have read "You'll Get Through This" by Max Lucado one chapter really stood out to me. It talked about one persons journey and how much they lost but they were still hanging on to their faith in God. And then it happened God (well really Satan) crossed the line in the sand. You know that line the one that says God you do all this but don't you dare do this. If you do I may stop believing. Do you have a line?

It made me think about my line. Do I have a line? I know I had one. You know the funny thing about God is when you draw that line he usually steps right over it. For me it was a job. Since I was 19 I wanted to be in a full time ministry position. Finally at 38 I went to work at my church. It was not the most glamorous job at first but eventually I began to work in the office. I was the self proclaimed office manager. After many years of work I knew I wanted to retire from that job. So, in my mind I had drawn a line. God I know you want me at this job so just let me retire from there. Well, as you can imagine that did not go the way I wanted. After much trouble in my life that job was lost. I thank God that before that happened he had me in Christian Counseling and I was in my first step study with Celebrate Recovery. Had it not been for those things I am not so sure I would even be attending a church. Just as Jeremiah 29:11 says God knew the plans he had for me and he provided the means to accomplish them.

So, at 54 I was looking for a job. What is amazing is how God works. I applied for a job but it was almost a month later that I heard from them. After the interview, which by the way was the last day of my severance pay, I was hired within three hours. I do not know of any place that hires with just one interview. Top that off by what happened shortly after that. A co-worker came to me and explained how God had provided that job for me. She told me how they had been praying for someone to come and fill that position for six months. Wow, God has plans all I have to do it just wait. 

I say all that to say this - What is your line? What are you going to do when it gets crossed because it will at some point. Satan will attack and the line will be crossed. What are you going to turn towards? Drugs? Alcohol? Food? Sex? What god will you run towards? If you run to any but the true God, our Lord and Savior Jesus, you will be left empty. Has your line already been crossed? Are you looking for something to fill the emptiness? Why not give Jesus a chance. I wish I could tell you all the stories I have heard about Jesus changing lives. It would fill many books. Why not come to Celebrate Recovery? What have you got to loose? Hate? Fear? Resentment? Anger? Who really wants those anyway? Throw them at the foot of the cross and leave them there. It is amazing what Jesus can do with them. I hope to see you Friday night at 6 pm.

David

“Your personal boundaries protect the inner core of your identity and your right to choices.”

— Gerard Manley Hopkins

What or Why.

I was reminded of something today. What or why. Which question do we ask God? What or why?

I find myself asking why way to much. Why is not a bad question but if God was to answer the why question would I understand the answer? Probably not. I cannot see the whole picture but He can. So, why from his perspective makes sense. From mine it is frustrating.  Oh, I think I can understand that it all will make perfect sense but that is not true. Usually it takes months or years for the why to make sense and sometimes it never does until we get to heaven. So, why do we ask why. I think mostly because I am afraid to ask the what question. What am I supposed to do? What I am supposed to say? What I am supposed to learn? I think if He would answer the why then the what would be easy. Isaiah says our ways are not his ways, our thoughts are not his thoughts that his ways and thoughts are far beyond what we can understand.

I remember my last time of asking why it was at the loss of a job I loved. I had worked in that job for 16+ years and wanted to retire from there. That was not HIS plan. No, one day I was offered to take a severance package or a job I knew would not work for so many reasons. At 54 you wonder do I have what it takes to find another job? What if I don't find anything? What if I go through all my savings and still do not have something? I was asking God why are you doing this to me? I spent a lot of my prayer time asking why and going over and over what I did wrong. I did not want to go through this. Now at 59 I can see better the why but it still does not make complete sense. Wasn't there an easier way to get me to this place? 

If I was to go back and ask instead what do you want me to do next? What lesson are trying to teach me? What place do you want me to be? Maybe I would have learned my lessons quicker. Because of all that I went through a huge time of growing took place as I was working my recovery at Celebrate Recovery. God knew exactly what he was doing. He needed me to change, to grow and to move on. The job I have now is much less stressful, has much better insurance and much better retirement. But without the trial I would not be the man I am now. I love working in Celebrate Recovery. I see it as the hospital our brothers and sisters need and I get to be part of helping others walk their recovery out of all kinds of things. 

So, what are you still asking why about? Why did my husband/wife die? Why did my husband/wife leave me? Why can I not quit smoking? Why can I not stop looking at the porn? Or perhaps you have the same why I had - Why did you take away my job, my safety net? I know one thing if you will come to Celebrate Recovery you will meet someone who has been where you are and they will help you get through it. So why do you keep fighting the urge to go? Give it up and just go. If you do and you work your program you will get better. Hope to see you soon.

David

Be Yourself

Be yourself. Sounds easy doesn't it. Well, it is not. Think about your life ... How many times have you wanted to be like someone else? If I could just fit into that group, if I could just be like (fill in the blank) my life would be easy. How many times have I wished to be some one else because they fit in with the "in" people. 

It took me 50 years and a step study to realize God does not need another (fill in the blank) he needs me. If I am not me than who will be? I have a purpose that I am supposed to fulfill and if I don't who will? I have always wanted to please everyone and keep everyone happy thinking that was my job. That is not right but it felt right. As a Christian is that not what we are supposed to do? Keep everyone happy and serve them? God never intended that I get lost in others to point that I did not exist. I will also say that is not what he wants for you either. 

I think that when we realize that we cannot keep everyone happy and get their approval we begin looking other places to find the thing that will fill us up. I went several directions. I started smoking to try to fit in, then it was drinking, then it was chasing girls and the list just goes on. As it turns out nothing fulfills us like Jesus. How long will you keep trying to find that one thing? Ittook me almost 50 years of looking. My last thing was trying to fulfill it through full-time ministry work. That only kept me prisoner to my desire to please others and gain approval. I thank God that I found my way through working the 12 steps and 8 principles at Celebrate Recovery.

I have by no means arrived but I know how to keep working on my recovery. The more I work the closer I get to Jesus and the better my life gets. If I don't fit in the "in" group that is okay because God, my Father, wants me in His group. That is the ultimate "in" group. Why not get in that group? Come any Friday night at 6 pm and you will find a group that is doing our best to recover and help others. We are like blind beggars that found food and we want others to find it too!

Pigpens

I was reminded today about pigpens. A question I have to ask myself is "What does my pigpen look like?" We all have them don't we. We wallow around looking for peace and happiness in things. Some pigpens are quite palatial. They can have three bedrooms two baths. They can have all the toys, the nicest accessories, the best beds but if God is not there it is just another pigpen. It is just another way to numb our pain. Isn't that what it is all about. It is for me. How can I avoid feeling the pain? New house, new car, new TV, new drug, the list just goes on and on. So, what do we have to do to get out? Only one way - cry out to God.

That is exactly what the prodigal son did -  “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’  So he got up and went to his father." But Satan is so tricky he makes us believe that the Father does not want us or he gets us to believe it is just too good where we are living. Of course that is all just a bunch of lies. That path will lead us to destruction. So, what next. 

When we come to our senses we don't always see things right.  "I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants." I could not see myself as a son when I was wallowing. I did not have any self worth. I was lost in my pigpen of people pleasing - doing my best to get approval from every source but God. I came to my senses but I still had to get my worth right. There are two buts in the story - “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." - “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate." There in those statements are the truth of the matter. No matter how I feel my Father loves me so much he does not care about where I have been only that I have come home. I still have a lot of trouble believing that to be true but I am getting better at it.

Would you like to get out of your pigpen? Well, come home to God your Father. He will welcome you just like he did the prodigal. I know it is hard to believe it but it is true. For me I found the help I needed at Celebrate Recovery. It was there that I felt at home. There was no one judging me for where I had been or where I was at when I came. All I found was love and acceptance. Why don't you try it? What have you got to lose - a pigpen lifestyle? Yep, we all live in them. We bath and try to get the mud, the slop and stink off of us but it does not work until you let Jesus wash you in his blood. Come and meet the one person who can help, Jesus. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Come lay down your burden Friday nights at 6 PM. 

David

Strongholds

I was reading a devo from Max Lucado today and in there was this list:

God could never forgive me— That’s the stronghold of guilt.
Bad things always happen to me— That’s the stronghold of self-pity.
I have to be in charge– The stronghold of pride.
I don’t deserve to be loved– The stronghold of rejection

Strongholds. Do you have any? Maybe a better question would be what is your stronghold? I think we all have one or more. 2 Corinthians 10:4 says "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds." Do I believe that statement, yes but do I claim it? Not like I should. Jesus disarmed the powers and authorities on the cross (Col. 2:15). So we have the power to take care of our strongholds. 

You know what is easier for me, taking care of your strongholds. I can pray and believe that God can deliver you from your strongholds but not mine. You see mine are different. Mine are stronger than yours, right. Stronger than God, no but I think that way. It just seems to be that I cannot help thinking I cannot be delivered. 

The good news is Celebrate Recovery has and is teaching me to change my way of thinking. Celebrate Recovery gives me the tools to change. I am not saying it is always easy but it works. If you have a stronghold (sin) in your life that you cannot seem to break why not come to Celebrate Recovery and see how it works. If you work it it works. The key is working it. Don't put it off come this Friday and start your recovery journey.

Slave to Saved

Eph. 2:1-9 (The Voice), "As for you, don’t you remember how you used to just exist? Corpses, dead in life, buried by transgressions, 2 wandering the course of this perverse world. You were the offspring of the prince of the power of air—oh, how he owned you, just as he still controls those living in disobedience. I’m not talking about the outsiders alone; 3 we were all guilty of falling headlong for the persuasive passions of this world; we all have had our fill of indulging the flesh and mind, obeying impulses to follow perverse thoughts motivated by dark powers. As a result, our natural inclinations led us to be children of wrath, just like the rest of humankind.

4 But God, with the unfathomable richness of His love and mercy focused on us, 5 united us with the Anointed One and infused our lifeless souls with life—even though we were buried under mountains of sin—and saved us by His grace. 6 He raised us up with Him and seated us in the heavenly realms with our beloved Jesus the Anointed, the Liberating King. 7 He did this for a reason: so that for all eternity we will stand as a living testimony to the incredible riches of His grace and kindness that He freely gives to us by uniting us with Jesus the Anointed. 8-9 For it’s by God’s grace that you have been saved. You receive it through faith. It was not our plan or our effort. It is God’s gift, pure and simple. You didn’t earn it, not one of us did, so don’t go around bragging that you must have done something amazing."

I found this version of the Bible to be especially interesting. The wording in verse 2 "You were the offspring of the prince of the power of air—oh, how he owned you" made me think of my life. Satan has "owned" me many times and unfortunately he still gets in my mind and messes with me. I remember how I was so deep in porn that I would lie to keep it hidden. Then there is the people pleasing. Sometimes he still "owns" me when it comes to pleasing others or wanting their approval. Just as it says "we all have had our fill of indulging the flesh and mind, obeying impulses to follow perverse thoughts motivated by dark powers". I know I have had my fill. I don't want to do anything that keeps me from God but I still find myself doing the things I don't want to do. M-M-M, that sounds like Paul in Romans 7. 

Now the good news. "But God, with the unfathomable richness of His love and mercy focused on us, 5 united us with the Anointed One and infused our lifeless souls with life—even though we were buried under mountains of sin—and saved us by His grace." All I can say is thank you Jesus for liberating me. I did nothing to "earn" it no it is a gift but because of that gift I want to do more for Him. Celebrate Recovery has helped me to overcome many things and will continue to help me if I continue to work the principles and steps. God brought me to my knees then he provided Celebrate Recovery to help me really break free of the chains that held me for almost 50 years. Because it took 50 years to get where I was it will take time for all those ingrained habits to be wiped out but He is patient and works with me every day.

How has Satan been "owning" you? You know, just like me, you may not know just how much he owns you. Why not come to Celebrate Recovery and break those chains as I and many others have done. I think deep down you know there is something you need to give to Jesus. So, tonight at 6 PM, at Park Plaza Church of Christ, why not come hear a testimony and give whatever is hanging you up to Jesus. It works if you work it!

David

Excuses

Something just hit me between the eyes. I get the "Daily Dr. Cloud" and today it really hit me. "An excuse is a way of promising ourselves we will have that same issue again." WOW! that really made me think. The real scary part is he may be on to something.

Excuses are just a way of dodging the bullet. If I have an excuse for why I am people pleaser than am I not just making it easier to continue to be one. Think about that. If I say well I am just trying to be a good Christian. That comes from a view that a Christian is someone who gives up their life, feelings and even energy to serve others. That is a flawed way of reasoning. If you try to live that way you will burn out. I would know because I lived to try please everyone. The problem was it was not to be a good Christian, no, it was to get the love and approval of others. That leaves you empty eventually. What God intends you to do is be filled with Him first so that you then can serve out of a vessel that is overrunning. God never stops loving me or approving me. Just like a father. As an earthly father of two I will never stop loving my children. It does not matter what they do, I will still love them. If I can do that than God does that even better. So, why do I need to get anything from anyone except Him. Well, I digress from the original thought. Excuses just allow us to keep doing our insanity. It can be anything that takes the place of God. So, what is taking God's place in your life? You may not yet see it (denial) but there is something. If you want to get closer to God why not come and join a bunch of us on a journey to find all the things that we put before God. This is a continuous journey and we are here to help each other. Come tonight, Friday night, at 6 pm and you will find love and acceptance. See you there! 

David

“Excuses are lies we tell ourselves so that it doesn’t have to be our fault.”

Love Is The Answer

I have been listening to some of the older music I have and heard "Hold On" by Nichole Nordeman. The words surprised me at first then she got to the chorus and it all came together. 

It will find you at the bottom of a bottle
It will find you at the needle's end
It will find you when you beg and steal and borrow
It will follow you into a stranger's bed

It will find you when they serve you with the papers
It will find you when the locks have changed again
It will find you when you've called in all your favors
It will meet you at the bridge's highest ledge

So baby don't look down, it's a long way
The sun will come around to a new day

So hold on
Love will find you
Hold on
He's right behind you now
Just turn around
And love will find you

Love will find you. God has such amazing love! He loves me, amazing. What you may find even more amazing is that He loves you. Yep, even if you are looking for love in the bottle, the needle, or sex, He still loves you where your are right now. The catch is He does not want to leave you there He wants you to enjoy HIS love and stop trying to find it somewhere else. 

I have been in church since I was born. I have been a baptized believer since I was 15. I have worked in full time ministry and I knew all the right words and had all the right answers but I did not get it, not really. Just like I said in my last blog I was living on me power. It took almost 40 years for me to find out who I am in Jesus. I am so glad He is patient. If you do not feel loved come to Celebrate Recovery tonight. I can promise you will find love there. God shows up every Friday night to just hold His children in His arms. No, we are not perfect but God uses us to help others find the comfort that we have been comforted with (2 Corinthians 1:3-7 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.) What have you got to lose? Your guilt, shame, resentment, bitterness? Is it worth it? I know it can be hard to come and walk through those doors. You wonder what someone might say if they see you. Well, let me say it is worth the risk. Show up tonight at 6 PM it may just change your life and you may find the love you have been looking for in whatever hurt, hang-up or habit in which you are lost right now. See you soon!

David

Living On Me Power

I just finished reading a chapter in Max Lucado's "Come Thirsty". I realized he was talking to me, especially the old me. I used to run on ME power. I would try to do all the work of Christ on my power. I can honestly say that it leaves you tried and thirsty. 

I remember when I was working at the church and how good I thought I was doing. Keywords "I thought". You see I was trying to do it on my own power. I liked the way Max described it. He told about a place where everyone pushed their cars. They would start the engine put it into neutral and then get out and push. I had been doing some form of that all my Christian life. Oh, once in a while I would get in and use the power of the Holy Spirit but only once in a while. Do you know where that leaves you? Yep, tried, thirsty, angry, resentful and thinking I just cannot do enough. I was there. When things began going a way I did not like I tried to change the direction on my own. You want to know what God did to get my attention. He got me out of full time work in fact He got me out of work completely. I was looking for a new job at 54 and had four months to do it. God made sure I got the message. On the last day of my severance pay He came through. If I had got a job in the first week I would not have got the message that it was His doing. I hope that none of you have to learn that lesson the way I did. My Lord came through but I had to go through a lot to get there.  

So, you say how did you get back to Him? Through two things, one Christian Counseling, two Celebrate Recovery. I learned that I am codependent, prideful, arrogant and judgmental. My counselor encouraged us to go to Celebrate Recovery and it was a turning point for me. I found my Lord Jesus again and when I did I found the power to live. He gives the Holy Spirit and through Him I have the power to live this Christian life. It is not about the rules it is about the relationship. As long as I remember that I will be okay. Do I do it perfectly? NO!! I still try to push the car sometimes and then I look up and realize what I am doing and I go and get in the passenger side and wait for Him to come and take me where He wants. You see I don't get to drive He does. Funny but when I remember to do these things life becomes much easier.  Reminds me of Matthew 11:28 "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Are you tried, thirsty, angry, resentful? Then why not come to Celebrate Recovery and see if you can find the same thing I did? You see Celebrate Recovery is the means by which you can find Jesus again or for the first time. What have you got to lose? Come Friday night at 6 PM and see what it is all about. 

David

“Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles but misguided men. ”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

Making Things Right

Yesterday as I was reading I came across Lamentations 3:26 "It is good to wait quietly for the Eternal to make things right." Jeremiah was talking to the exiles. How hard was that for them to hear? How hard is that for me to hear? 

We live in a world of instant gratification. What we want we get and get it right now. We have microwaves so we don't have to wait on our food. We credit cards so we don't have to wait on the money to do something or get something. Is there anything wrong with microwaves or credit cards? No. But the lesson that they teach us is you don't have to wait. Well, that flows over into my life as well.

When I have a bad habit I want it gone now. I don't have to time to work on it so we want God to take it now. The same is true of hurts and hangups. We want healing and want it now!! That may not be the best thing for us. It took Israel 70 years in exile to learn to worship God and Him alone. How long will it take me to be healed? One day, one week, one month, one year. Only God knows the time frame it will take to heal you. If you do it to fast or to slow it may not last. But if we let God work it in His time frame it will. That is not easy for me. I was healed from my smoking in one day, why not my codependency? After five years of working on it It only seems to get better not completely gone like I want. I have to trust that God will do it right in His perfect time. 

So, what is it that you want gone and gone right now? Grief, anger, smoking, drinking, drugs, what? Just know this God's timing is always right even though it may not be what we want. Come be a part of our family Friday. Have a blessed day!

“I want to try to make things right because picking up the pieces is way better than leaving them where they are.”

Friday Nights

I cannot say enough about Friday nights. I would not want to be any where else than with my brothers and sisters at Celebrate Recovery. You just don't know what those relationships mean until you become a part of the Celebration we call recovery. In reality it is just exactly what we need. We all need to celebrate all the things that Jesus does for us. He has healed us from hurts, habits and hangups.

This past Friday was just so awesome. The lesson this week was Confess. One of our leaders brought the lesson and he did such a great job of talking about the healing that comes from our confession. James 5:16 promises healing if we just confess to one another and pray for one another. I got the privilege of doing chips after the lesson. Just a little explanation about chips. Every week we take time to celebrate milestones in people's recovery. We start with a blue chip for starting your recovery of some hurt, habit or hangup and end with multiple years free from said hurt, habit or hangup. As we started the ceremony many people came and got that blue chip to start that journey. It is such a honor to be a part of that. God had used that brother to touch many hearts.

After our time of open share is our time of fellowship with coffee and dessert. It was here that I found out just how much the lesson and the confession in small group was to at least one brother. When he shared with me I was so glad that we were there to help him. It was also a time of sharing with another brother part of my story and God was in that as well because I shared things that only He could have brought to my mind and words that could only be explained as His.

If your Fridays are just dull come be a part of the Celebration. Everyone is welcome no matter what you are struggling with and I mean anything. Are you struggling with health? Are you struggling with loss? Are you grieving? Are you going through divorce? Well, you will find someone here that has or is recovering from any one of those things and much more. Come be a part of our family next Friday. We start at 6 PM.